He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
