none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
