Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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