dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
