Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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