Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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