she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
