i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
