It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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