He is an equal opportunity slut.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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