the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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