Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
