Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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