at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
