it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
