I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
