idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
