She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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