whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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