do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
