its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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