a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you traded sex for a burrito?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
