Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
