Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Randomize
