She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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