week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I want a musical about memes.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
