I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
it glows. i had to have it.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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