She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Randomize
