Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
