I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so that wasnt chicken after all
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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