i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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