ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I am one with the molecules
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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