You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
