oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
