his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
