In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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