You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
