I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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