Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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