where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
