You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
