what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
