I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
