I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
