Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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