I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
