it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
