Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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