i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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