she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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