fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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